I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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