omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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