Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
