Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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