did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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