This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
