Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
