I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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