you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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