he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
