What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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