At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
