please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
