Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
