dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
