You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
