I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
