If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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