Plan B is the new Plan A
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize