In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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