dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
