I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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