But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize