Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
