so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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