Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
