It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
