I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
