it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
