well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
