Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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