you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
