May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize