The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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