I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
