Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
