This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize