I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
