How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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