the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize