So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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