Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
