I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
