Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
did you just send me my own nude
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
