I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
