..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
