also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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