Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize