I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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