I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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