Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
