Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
