Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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