Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
