Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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