Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
