I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
