Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
