careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize