I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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