He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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